Monza might be all about motor racing, but what about Milan itself? What else but fashion, darling!! Here image is everything and dowdy old F1 could do with a bit of a makeover, no? So what would happen...
IF F1 WAS RULED BY... THE FASHION INDUSTRY
1. In line with FIA
proposals, team racing budgets would be radically slashed. The surplus would, of course, go to designing killer new uniforms for all the teams. Hmmm... radically slashed -- now that gives me an idea for a to-die-for little travel skirt. 2. What's with having just one season? Are you insane? New look Formula One would have a winter season, a spring/summer and a fall season. All of them would be in Paris, Milan, London and New York. 3. The starting lights would be abandoned in favour of a loudhailer system that counted the cars down the catwalk grid before just shouting "YOU GO, GIRLFRIEND!!" 4. It has come to our attention that a grid girl at a recent race was clearly a size four -- this is now forbidden. They must be size zero. Of course we might have to tether them to the track in case they blow away. 5. Each photographer would be required to bring two assistants, four stylists, a make-up artist and more lights than required to illuminate the Singapore Grand Prix. Also they'd all be called Steven or Mario. 6. Qualifying would be replaced by a new format to be known as Formula One's Next Top Driver. All of the hopefuls would live in the same house, claim all the other drivers were bitches and then cry a lot when voted out by a famous ex-driver with a keen fashion sense. 7. The drivers.... Oh dear. Hair and make-up, quick!!! 8. At the end of every show race, the winning team's chief designer walk down the catwalk pitlane taking all the applause. Oh, you say that's already happening... ok. 9. Impressionable teenagers would of course go any lengths to get into the industry, stabbing friends in the back, furiously losing weight to fit into the delicate equipment, and always claiming they're much younger than than they really are. Oh, that already happens too? 10. Oh, look this is pointless. F1's clearly fierce enough already. Be fabulous!!!
Car 5 SEBASTIAN VETTEL
1st Practice P2, 2nd Practice P1
"It was quite good today. It's a Friday, so the laptimes vary and you don't know what the fuel loads are, but I'm quite confident. It looks better for us here than it did a year ago. Obviously here is no KERS this year, which helps us. We need to be patient and we'll see the true pace tomorrow. McLaren is extremely quick and their cars went off a couple of times, so I don't know if they had a clean afternoon. Ferrari was quick in the afternoon too, it will be tight. It's a short lap here with a lot of short straights and not so many corners -- the gap between cars will be very small."
Car 6 MARK WEBBER
1st Practice P6, 2nd Practice P6
"I lost water pressure in P2 and had to stop the car, which compromised our running a little bit, but we still got some good information today. The car is going pretty well. I have to find a little bit of lap time myself, but the car is performing and I'm quite happy. We'll see how we go tomorrow, but we're in the ballpark which is nice. Ferrari look strong as well."